Lo on Wine

About Me

I left a high-paying job in Silicone Valley (like Silicon Valley, only smaller boobs than those assholes--HAHAHAHA) to become a famous wine writer. I'm already the sexiest wine writer, if you don't count Balzer. (Balzer!? He barely knows her!) I started smoking at a young age so that I could develop the same kind of palate as the greatest winemakers, who suck more butt than Ellen DeGeneres. I am currently working for nothing with the HoseMaster of Wine in order to learn about wine at his feet, which smell like something died between his toes. I'm four feet, ten inches tall in heels, which I wear everywhere. I never taste wines blind. And I never spit. Wine, either.

Lo on Wine

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Welcome to My Blog!